Wonder: Winter Wonderland

As I so often mention on this blog, I didn't grow up where it snows. I grew up in sunny San Diego. I have now moved to the east coast and the sight of snow still makes me ecstatic. I love the soft quiet that comes over my school as the snow starts to fall or the feeling I get when there are snowflakes all over my jackets. It is nice to still have wonder about something that most people know so much about. I still can't even drive in the snow! The point of all of this is to say that realizing that wonder and looking at it in a new way is one of the best ways I can think of to be happy. So look around and see what the world has to offer. Is it just snow or a magical winter wonderland? I would choose the ladder. Again, though, that's just me, the girl who is still ecstatic when it snows. I feel like a child in awe. I think everyone needs to feel that at least at some point. The question is what is it that makes you feel wonder. 

Love: Friends, Family, etc.

After being at college for about a month and a half, I realize how wonderful my family and friends are in California. I love the idea of missing people. The reason I do is because it reminds us that we had such great people that surrounded us. In my case, I moved 3,000 miles away from home so my family and friends are very far away. Their pictures are all over my dorm walls and I talk to them but it isn't the same. I love them. That kind of love can't pertain to just phone calls and photos. It is a full relationship that needs hugs, smiles, laughs, tears, and joy.  The signals of love are just as important as the love itself. I notice all around campus couple snuggling as the weather gets cold. I think that the way we need to cling to the ones we love is an asset. I can just imagine how hard my life would be if I didn't get my weekly phone calls to my mom. Those conversations are the only time I hear my mom's voice, I always here "I love you, honey" at the end of phone call and that's when I feel good about my college choice. Though, I am far way, people at home are thinking of me and loving me just the same. I think that remembering why we made the choices we make is so important. If I let the fact that my family and friends are not with me be an issue, I would be a basket-case. Instead, I think of all the good people I have met, all the things I am learning, and how I am growing as an individual because that is what is going to make my friends and family proud back home. I can also take away that most important thing I have learned in my eighteen years alive that love is the most important above all else. I love stealing this quote that my big sister found "The greatest thing you will ever learn is to love and be loved" by Eden Ahbez. There are many things I will learn in my college career but the most important thing I have already learned. LOVE <3

This blog post is dedicated to my mom, my big sisters, my huge family, Jackson Cowart, Rebecca Goates, Jeanette Broberg, small group girls, the Impact group, and my new friends from college.

Dream: A Fall to Remember

I remember as a little girl going to the pumpkin patch with my family. It was always decorated with fake fall leaves because it was something that we lacked in California. However, I vividly recall when we finally picked out our pumpkins, a sense that fall had started. Somehow, as I look back maybe that is how I defined fall in a place where fall was like every other season. But here on the East Coast as the fall colors are starting to show, my definition of a child seems to lack the conviction that it once had when I didn't have the knowledge of seasons. As September kicks off, the summer is blown away by the winds and falling of brightly colored leaves. The transformation that will soon occur has got me dreaming of a beautiful fall season leading into a magical winter. Witnessing the changes of nature is something that is so exciting. This is my first year. My first dream. I just hope I fall in love with the seasons to come. A beautiful thing about this is that it has shown me how to notice the little changes and their big affects. It goes from one leaf to next then suddenly they are all red, orange, and golden ready to fall as winter winds come near. Then racking them up until the next time they fall again.

Wonder: Beautiful Chaos

As I finish moving into my new dorm, I realize that there is such a craziness about college. Not only is there more homework and reading than high school but also people are partying and everyone is doing something different. College is a beautiful  chaotic environment.  Everyone has their path that they are headed to. However, most of the freshman class doesn't know what the hell they want. I think that is the part of the chaos is the fact that everyone isn't even fully sure of what they want to study (except me). I have found that in my first week of college, the craziness of college is refreshing, different, and unique. The freedom to do what you want, when you want is enlightening to the constrained ways of my former education. I don't particularly like structure so college is perfect for me. So to keep living a beautiful life, embrace the crazy. It is fun! Take a risk, be you. Most importantly, realize that some chaos is beautiful, bold, and exciting. That is my definition of college at the moment.

Love: The Romance of Albert and Victoria

I happen to have a sort of fetish of all things British. Whether it is Kate Middleton and the Royal Baby or Jane Austen's Pride and Prejudice. I can't seem to get enough. So the day that Prince George Alexander Louis of Cambridge was born I decided to be British. I watched one of my all time favorite movies The Young Victoria.  It tells a story of one of the most romantic love stories ever. It is the story of the romance between Albert and Victoria. Their uncle, King Leopold of Beligum, used Albert by having him court and win the love of Victoria to get Britain's assistance in Belgium. However, it was not in his favor. After marrying on February 10, 1840, they eventually didn't listen to him and did what was best for England. Their romance was one of the most remarkable. It was an arranged marriage, however they fell madly in love. Albert helped Victoria during her reign by giving her guidance where it was needed. Their love was so strong. He was the only person that loved her like that. He wasn't in for the power that was offered but to be with her. Their honeymoon only lasted three days because as Queen, Victoria had many duties. However, Victoria stated in her diary, "I NEVER, NEVER spent such an evening!!! MY DEAREST DEAREST DEAR Albert ... his excessive love & affection gave me feelings of heavenly love & happiness I never could have hoped to have felt before! He clasped me in his arms, & we kissed each other again & again! His beauty, his sweetness & gentleness – really how can I ever be thankful enough to have such a Husband! ... to be called by names of tenderness, I have never yet heard used to me before – was bliss beyond belief! Oh! This was the happiest day of my life!" Their relationship is something that I truly marvel at. The devotion and care for one another that they had is unlike any other romance. It was beautiful and it was real. During their twenty year reign together, Victoria and Albert did so much for Great Britain. They were both very passionate about helping people, especially the poor.  They also had nine children. Their life together was cut short when Albert got ill and eventually died at the age of 42. After his death, Queen Victoria had his clothes laid out every day until her own death after reigning another 39 years. She never married again. The best thing about Victoria and Albert was that their love was true. They went through trials, like when Victoria was shot at by an assassin. But within this story, I find hope in love. The idea that it still exists even today. Many times, I forget that, even though there are a lot of divorces, there are people like Victoria and Albert who love each other dearly and would take a bullet for their spouse. I find that true love. Love is our identity, love is action, and love is sacrifice. That is what Victoria and Albert show us. They demonstrate the definition of love.

Dream: Becoming an Excellent Doctor

I have found in my knowledge base a certain need for excellence. Now, that should not be confused with perfection because unlike excellence, perfection makes you become inhuman. Humans, on the other hand, make many mistakes in life. Hopefully, most of the time we can choose to learn from them. For me personally, I am well aware that I have made mistakes but also that I have learned much about myself from them. As Lucy Maud Montgomery states, "We should regret our mistakes and learn from them but never carry them forward into the future with us." I find that much like everyone, as much I hate making mistakes, I find that I gain the most experience and knowledge from them.   As I wish to pursue a career that is based in perfection, I must also remember to strive for excellence. Just like everyone else, doctors make errors but unlike most people their mistakes cause lives. Maybe that is the trouble with the medical field, we need perfection when no human can be that way. The patients want the best doctors, that hopefully won't kill them. In the end, it is not a matter of being the best or being the most distinguish, rather to hold to the standard that you are not perfect. In that, doctors may find peace. While their mistakes may cost lives, their efforts and choices in life save much more than they lose in the process. So I, an imperfect being, vow to help more than I hurt, strive for excellence, not perfection, but most importantly, be humble in my mistakes and make amends when necessary. I believe that death is something that cannot be avoided but doctors are able to prevent life from ceasing too soon. I think that the future is always about learning and accepting new ideas. The world is changing and I will embrace it wholeheartedly. Saving lives is one thing but realizing that within it there is a much deeper conflict of being the sole person to either help or hurt, well that just another battle doctors must face. I, for one, am ready to not only win the battle but rather to improve upon it. 

Wonder: Beauty at its Best

Beauty is defined by Webster's dictionary as the quality or aggregate of qualities in a person or thing that gives pleasure to the senses or pleasurably exalts the mind or spirit. Now, many times I look at that definition as a bunch words because for me beauty can be somewhat undefined. I wonder how someone can create a definition for something that is so different for everyone. I personally love seeing snow falling, stars, and sunsets as some of the most beautiful things while others might see blooming flowers and lakes as having that said beauty.  However, there is something to be said about beauty and its impact on society. Clearly, everyone wants to live somewhere that is beautiful or at least vacation there. Why do you think so many people go to Hawaii? There is such a great amount of natural beauty and it has an effect to draw people in. How is it that places that are sunny more often, like San Diego, have happier people? This beauty has a part in quality of life but looking out for it is an even bigger part of having a beautiful life. Wondering where the next beautiful place will be and always searching for more is key. Here's a story, I was at work today and because I work at a hospital so most of  my day is inside so I have no idea if it is hot, cold, humid, raining, etc. Well, as I finished my shift and walked out of the automatic double doors, passed the fountain and sculptures, I realized something very important. This place was beautiful. There are trees everywhere, flowers blooming, art displayed in and out of the hospital, but most importantly the sun was was shining down shedding some light on it. I wonder, are you looking for beauty in life or just trying to get through the day? Believe me taking the time to notice the beauty of the world is a wonderful thing. As Ashley Smith says, "Life is full of beauty. Notice it. Notice the bumble bee, the small child, and the smiling faces. Smell the rain, and feel the wind. Live your life to the fullest potential, and fight for your dreams" That is where beauty is at its best. When you notice that beauty surrounds you everyday, if only you open your eyes to see it.